Ladies & Gentlemen / Have Yourselves A Good Time Lyrics > Jerry Springer: the Opera

Ladies & Gentlemen

VOICE OVER:
Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Jerry Springer Show!

AUDIENCE:
Go Jerry! Go Jerry! Jerry!

VOICE OVER:
Please will you welcome...

AUDIENCE:
Jerry!

VOICE OVER:
Welcome...

AUDIENCE:
Jerry!

VOICE OVER:
Your moderator and warm-up artist!

AUDIENCE:
Je---aww!

WARM UP MAN:
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jonathan Weiruss.

AUDIENCE:
Oh yeah.

WARM UP MAN:
Before the show starts, we gotta lay down a few rules!

AUDIENCE:
Whatever.

WARM UP MAN:
Things get pretty hot up here so we gotta have a few rules!

AUDIENCE:
Got the message.

WARM UP MAN:
Nobody's allowed on stage, and nobody's allowed to throw things at the guests. Dont throw things at the guests!

WARM UP MAN:
Another rule...

AUDIENCE:
What?

WARM UP MAN:
During the show, no heckling!

AUDIENCE:
What?!

WARM UP MAN:
No heckling!

AUDIENCE:
No heck-ling, what you saying are you mad? No way!

WARM UP MAN:
Apart from "aaah" for the good guys!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

WARM UP MAN:
Yes that's right!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

WARM UP MAN:
You got it!

WARM UP MAN:
And for the bad guys "Boo-oo-oo!"

AUDIENCE:
Boo-oo-oo!

WARM UP MAN:
Yep!

AUDIENCE:
Boo-oo-oo!

WARM UP MAN:
Great!

AUDIENCE:
Boo-oo-oo!

WARM UP MAN:
Yes that's right, yes that's right!

AUDIENCE:
Boo-oo-oo! Boo-oo-oo!

WARM UP MAN:
Save it for the show! Save it for the show!

WARM UP MAN:
And we like it when you say...

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Jerry Jerry!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry! Jerry! (Continued)
Go Jerry Go!

WARM UP MAN: (spoken)
Woo! Come on!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry!

WARM UP MAN: (spoken)
Okay keep it going, here we go!

(AUDIENCE continue chanting)

MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry-Jerry-Jerry-Jerry-Jerry! Jerry-Jerry-Jerry-Jerry-Jerry!

(AUDIENCE continue chanting)

(AUDIENCE cheer)

WARM UP MAN:
So just to recap, no heckling!

AUDIENCE:
No heckling!

WARM UP MAN:
No fighting!

AUDIENCE:
No fighting!

WARM UP MAN:
No throwing things or throwing up!

AUDIENCE:
No throwing things or throwing up!

WARM UP MAN:
And most of all...

AUDIENCE:
Most of all...

WARM UP MAN:
Seriously...

AUDIENCE:
Seriously...

WARM UP MAN:
Especially, obviously...

Have Yourselves A Good Time

WARM UP MAN:
Have yourselves a good time!

AUDIENCE:
Good time!

WARM UP MAN:
Have yourselves a good time!

AUDIENCE:
Good time!

WARM UP MAN:
A goo-
Have a goo-
Have yourselves a real good time!

AUDIENCE:
Good time!

WARM UP MAN:
Good time!

AUDIENCE:
Good time!

WARM UP MAN:
Good time!

AUDIENCE:
Good time! Jerry! Jerry!

WARM UP MAN:
Have a goo-
Have a goo-
Have yourselves a real good time!

AUDIENCE:
We want some action! Ready for some action! We want Jerry! Where the fuck is Jerry?

WARM UP MAN:
What do you want?

AUDIENCE:
Lesbians fighting!

WARM UP MAN:
What do you want?

AUDIENCE:
Open-crotch sighting!

AUDIENCE:
Pimps in cat suits, mothers who are prostitutes, mutants, psychos, saddos, winos, cocaine abusers with no noses! Bring on
the losers!

WARM UP MAN:
Bring 'em on, bring 'em on!

AUDIENCE:
Bring on the losers!

WARM UP MAN:
Bring 'em on, bring 'em on!

AUDIENCE:
Bring on the losers!

WARM UP MAN:
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la LOSERS!

AUDIENCE:
Bring on the losers!

WARM UP MAN and MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER:
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la LOSERS!

WARM UP MAN:
Are you ready? Are you ready?

AUDIENCE:
Yes we're ready! Yes we're ready!

WARM UP MAN:
Are you ready? Are you ready?

AUDIENCE:
Oh for fuck sake, we are ready, we are...

AUDIENCE:
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na (continued)

WARM UP MAN:
All right, there's no need for sarcasm! I'm only trying to do my frickin' job!

WARM UP MAN (to STEVE):
Tough crowd!

AUDIENCE:
Ready!

WARM UP MAN (to STEVE):
Really tough!

AUDIENCE:
Ready!

WARM UP MAN (to STEVE):
Trailer trash!

AUDIENCE:
Fuck you!

AUDIENCE:
Come on! Come on!

WARM UP MAN:
Alright already!

AUDIENCE:
Come on! Come on!

WARM UP MAN:
Where the fuck is Jerry?

AUDIENCE:
Come on! Come on!

WARM UP MAN:
The crowd is turnin' ugly!
Last Update: June, 10th 2013