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Musical: Jerry Springer: the Opera
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[JERRY (spoken)] What the fuck is that idiot Warm Up Man doing out there? He's turning my people into a mob! You're right, Steve, he's got to go. [WARM UP MAN] Hey, Jerry, What can I say man? Tough crowd! [JERRY (spoken)] Nice to see you, Jonathan. [WARM UP MAN] Sorry if I let those assholes get a little too loud, [JERRY (spoken)] Those assholes are my audience. [WARM UP MAN] Jerry, don't bullshit me, You and me both, we know, They are scum! Filthy cocksucking scum! [JERRY (spoken)] And your job is to control those scum and keep them from upstaging my guests. [WARM UP MAN] Pimps and perverts, Teenage whores, People so fat they get stuck in revolving doors! [JERRY (spoken)] And we get them through those doors and onto a plane to Chicago. [JERRY'S INNER VALKYRIE] Sluts and faggots, Gimps eating maggots. [JERRY (spoken)] We've never had a maggot eating gimp on this show! [WARM UP MAN] Jerry, you could do anything. [JERRY (spoken)] What are you talking about? [WARM UP MAN] You could run for Senate! Or even president! [JERRY (spoken)] If I want my dick sucked, I'll call my agent. [WARM UP MAN] Looks like you're cruising, Playing it safe. [JERRY (spoken)] You're way out of line, pal. [WARM UP MAN] You need a challenge, And I've got just the thing, Gonna make you sweat, When you're in the ring. [JERRY (spoken)] Jonathan, let's cut this short. [Thanks to Beth for lyrics] Back to main page: Jerry Springer: the Opera Lyrics
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