Playbill Lyrics > It's Only Life

I flash the playbill from that Sondheim show
Still too present in my mind
You asked if I?ve just seen that Sondheim show
And didn?t I love it
And isn?t it encouraging that love can be blind

I laughed and said
?One hates that leading character in proportion to how desperately they?ve shown their own need.?
I said ?I really loathed that leading character,? and you graciously agreed.

You know, I don?t do this;
Sitting in bars, it must show as I stumble through this.
Bearing my past and cataloging scars
Opening to you
Not something that I normally would do.

Sure the alcohol and smokescreen make it easier
Drink by drink, flirt by flirt
Vertical mile by mile
Climbing through the rocks and the dirt to the top of a hope and the brink of a hurt
But I?m hardened by your smile.

Or is it just the smile you bestow on anyone
Who reflects you golden in his eyes?
Was a hint of promise in that smile?
Or simply common courtesy
Platonic curiosity
All that there will ever be, were you really seeing me
Possibly admiring my style, feeling some connection
Or were you merely mesmerized by your own adorable, adored reflection

You?re too young. I?m too old.
Ugh who knows, maybe I?m not.
You?re too beautiful. I?m too plain.
It?s impossible. It?s a joke.
But somehow while we spoke, I forgot.

Did I say the right thing?
Was I clever? Was I crude?
Should I have stuck with the disinterested polite thing?
Was I forward to the point of being rude?
When I suddenly grew shy, did my charm trickle dry?
Or did you find my shyness charming?
When I handed you my card, was it alarming
Or delightfully disarming?

I can?t guess, when I bolted for the door
Did I leave you wanting more
Or wishing I?d monopolized you less
I stayed as long as I could stall.

And now I?m home again
Already trying far too hard
Not to wait for you to find my card
And call.

Last Update: June, 10th 2013