A Secretary Is Not A Toy Lyrics > How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

BRATT:
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy;
Not a toy to fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy.
No, a secretary is not,
Definitely not a toy.

3 MALES:
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!
We wouldn't have any other way, Mr. Bratt!
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt!

MALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy,
not a toy.

So do not go jumping for joy,

MALE ENSEMBLE:
Boy! A secretary is not...
A secretary is not,
A secretary is not ...a toy,

FEMALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy.

COMPANY:
Be good to the girl you employ, boy;
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got,
A secretary is not ...a toy.

She's a highly specialized key
Component of operation unity...
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home
She supports.

FRUMP:
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwartz!

SMITTY:
A secretary is not a pet,
Nor an erector set.

FRUMP & SMITTY:
It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy!
They fired him a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not... A toy!

COMPANY:
(Whistling)
A secretary is not...A toy!

And when you put it to use,
Observe,
When you put her to use:

FRUMP:
That you don't find the name Lionel
on her caboose!

FEMALE ENSEMBLE:
A secretary is not a thing
One buy key, hold by string

Her pad...
Is to write in,
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!

COMPANY:
The secretary you got,
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte,
Or you know what,
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this my boy,
A secretary is not,
A tinker toy!
Last Update: June, 14th 2014