The Frogs

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!

DIONYSOS:
What was that?

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!

DIONYSOS:
Xanthias, wake up. Xanthias, please wake up!

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek!

DIONYSOS:
Old man, I need your help!

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek!

DIONYSOS:
I may be losing my mind, but that sounds like, like... frogs!

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek!

Brek-kek-kek
Brek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek!
Ko-ax!

Brek-kek kek-kek kek-kek kek-kek
Ko-ax!
Rib-et rib-et
Ko-ax!
Brek-kek kek-kek...

DIONYSOS:
It is... it is... it's frogs!

FROGS:
Whaddya think it is, mice?
Well, dummy, think twice!
Brek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek!
What have eyes that pop?
What have skins that glisten?
What have feet that plop?
Elephants?
No, listen, listen, listen, listen:
Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Brek-kek-kek-kek kek-kek kek-kek!
Ko-ax!
Rib-et rib-et!
Brek-kek-kek-kek...
Right!

Frogs!
We're the frogs!
The adorable frogs!
Not your hoity-toity intellectuals,
Not your hippy-dippy homosexuals,
Just your easy-going, simple,
Warm-hearted, cold-blooded
Frogs
Of the pond
And the fronds we never go beyond.
When you rearrange a single frond,
We respond
With a --
[Bronx cheer]
Rek-kek-kek-kek!
[Vomit sound]
Brek-kek-kek-kek
Brek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek!
Ko-ax!
Rib-et rib-et
Brek-kek-kek-kek...
Bur-rup bur-rup bur-rup
Ko-ax!

DIONYSOS:
[as he is dragged into the river]
Oh, Zeus! Mighty and powerful Zeus! Dear father above, help me! Help me!

XANTHIAS:
Master! Master!!!

FROGS:
Ko-ax!

XANTHIAS:
Master!

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Whaddya care the world's a wreck?
Leave 'em alone, send 'em a check,
Sit in the sun and what the heck,
Whaddya wanna break your neck for?
What for?
Big deal!
Big bore!

Forget your troubles,
Wallow with us,
Squat and take a mud bath!

What's it get you,
Making a fuss?
Just another blood-bath!

Aw!
Boo-hoo!
Oh, pshaw!
What's new?

Forget your troubles,
Wallow with us,
Squat and take a mud bath!

FROGS, in five GROUPS, in canon:

(1)
What's it get 'em, making a fuss?
Just another blood bath!

Forget your troubles,
Wallow with us,
Squat and take a mud bath!

What's it get 'em, making a fuss?
Just another blood bath!

We seen it,
We heard it,
We been there,
We know it already.

We seen it,
We heard it,
We been there,
We know it already.

We seen it,
We heard it,
We been there,
We know it already.

We seen it,
We heard it,
We been there,
We know it already.

Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
Was a good friend of

(2)
Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Whaddya care the world's a wreck?
Leave 'em alone, send 'em a check,
Sit in the sun and what the heck,

Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Whaddya care the world's a wreck?
Leave 'em alone, send 'em a check,
Sit in the sun and what the heck,

Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek!

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily

(3)
Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Row row row your boat

(4)
Row row row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a scream.

Row row row your boat gently down the stream,

Tote dat barge and lift that crud
You gets a little drunk and you lands in mud.

You and he
You sweat and strain
Body all achin' and ---

(5)
You and he
You sweat and strain
Body all achin' and racked wid' pain.

Who cares if the sky
Cares to fall in the swamp?
Who cares if the sky
Cares to fall in the

ALL FROGS:
Swamp
Boo-hoo!
Oh, pshaw!
What's new?

Frogs! Frogs! Frogs! Frogs!
Be-de-de-beep, be-de-de-beep,
Leave it alone and get some sleep.
Leave it alone, you're in too deep.
You gotta look before you leap.

And nothing and nobody knows how to leap
More
Than the frogs!

For the frogs!
For the frogs!
For the frogs!
For the frogs!
For the frogs!
For the frogs!
For the frogs!
Don't you love us frogs!
Bur-rup!
For the bumps on the logs!
Ko-ax!
Not for fancy pants humanitarians,
Not for chatty platitudinarians,
But for easy-going, simple, jocular,
Ocular
Frogs,
Who can thrive
Just by staying friendly and alive.
When there's any trouble, we survive,
We just dive
And go
Blep blep blep blep!
Blep blep blep blep!

DIONYSOS:
How dare you! You twisted amphibious monsters!

MEN:
Whaddya get, stirring the pot?
Wouldn't you rather sit and squat?
Everything's gonna stay afloat,
As long as you don't rock the boat.

WOMEN and TENORS:
Dive deep! Splash around!
Whaddya want with solid ground?
Whaddya wanna get apoplexy?

MEN:
You could be a very sexy
Frog!
C'mon, abandon ship
And skip the trip,
And take a dip.

ALL FROGS:
Just pull up a pad
And simply flop,
It's time to stop.
To frolic and plop
And learn how to hop --

It's hip to hop.
Hip hop! Hip hop!

DIONYSOS:
[screaming as he falls]
Aaaahhhhhhhhh! This is terrible!! This is... this is... wonderful!!!
No, no, stop, please!
Ohhhhhhh.... can't we all just get along?!

FROGS:
Brek-kek-kek-kek kek-kek kek-kek...
Ko-ax!
Brek-kek-kek-kek kek-kek kek-kek...
Rib-et rib-et!

Stay with the frogs,
With the frogs, Kek-kek
With the wits of the bogs! Brek-kek-kek-kek! Brek-kek-kek-kek!
Not your hippy dippy insurrectionists, Whaddya care the world's a wreck?
Not your hasty pasty-faced perfectionists, Everyone knows the world's a wreck.
Stay with the easy-going, simple, rollicking, Leave 'em alone, send 'em a check,
Frolicking Why do you want to break your neck?
Frogs
In the reeds
Leave the world alone and count the weeds.
While the world may not know what it needs,

DIONYSOS:
Help!

FROGS:
It proceeds
And in time
Will be

DIONYSOS:
Xanthias!

FROGS:
Sublime

XANTHIAS:
Master!

FROGS:
All bogs
And weeds
And frogs

DIONYSOS:
I was almost turned into one of the frogs!

FROGS:
Frogs

XANTHIAS:
I thought he said there were no frogs.

DIONYSOS:
Obviously we were incredibly misinformed.

XANTHIAS:
They look pretty big to be frogs.

DIONYSOS:
Indeed.

XANTHIAS:
With a surprisingly innate sense of rhythm.

DIONYSOS:
Yes. Do you think we could postpone this discussion until after my rescue?

XANTHIAS:
Sure thing!

DIONYSOS:
Thank you, Xanthias -- for a minute there I was really worried.

[A giant frog appears behind them]

XANTHIAS:
Now no need to worry, master, not while I'm around. I've got the reflexes of a panther.
Well maybe not a panther, more like a highly-strung farm animal, but I'm pretty limber.
These frogs, they don't scare me.
By the time I'm through with them,
there'll be nothing left but their little frog legs --
which I hear can make for some pretty good eating.
I wonder how they came up with that recipe?
"Uh-oh, Marcel. We're out of snails -- quick grab that frog."
Ha-ha -- it's pretty funny, huh? But seriously, master... master?

[He turns around, sees the giant frog disappear with DIONYSOS in its mouth]

Master!!!

FROGS:
Frogs frogs frogs frogs
Brek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-
Kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek-kek

[All the FROGS exit]

XANTHIAS:
I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.


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