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Musical: Forbidden Broadway, Vols. 1-4
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At the End of the Play Chorus: At the end of the play we're another year older And we're often exhausted from playing the poor Randy Graff fell in the band And the turntable's making us dizzy Trevor Nunn yells a command And it's throwing us all in a tizzy And there's going to be hell to pay At the end of the play At the end of the play see the audience smolder Sitting flat on their butts for three hours or more They can't wait to get back home And to read the libretto in bed To decipher whatever went on And what we said Better read your synopsis At the end of the play I Dreamed a Show Fantine: There was a time when shows were fun And they used bright lighting And the shows weren't so long And the songs weren't so biting There was a time Then it all went wrong I dreamed a show in days gone by Where all the scenery looked so pretty I didn't sing one song then die And all my costumes weren't so gritty I did a tap-dance and I smiled And pathos wasn't overstated My lips were red, my hair was styled I didn't act so constipated But now that misery's in style It's artistic if you suffer So they tore my dress apart And the chorus girls walk lame I dreamed a show in days gone by Neil Diamond didn't sing my hit song A pretty girl they'd glorify And Act One wasn't so damn long Come watch us grovel in the dirt Then buy a souvenir and don it Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt That has a starving pauper on it I dreamed a show in days gone by Where all the sets weren't piles of rubble I didn't have to belt high E And be as miserable as me Bring it Down Jean Valjean: God it's high This song's too high Pity me Change the key Bring it down Bring it down It's too high It's too high Much too high Empty Songs, Empty Lyrics Marius: If I seem to be grief stricken When this song goes on and on Empty songs with empty lyrics All about the dead and gone Recitative Barricade Boy #1: Oh no Etienne, you're simply a confused and worried child. Let me explain the plot of the show to you So you can understand the way it's styled. Jean Valjean is a convict who is being chased by the policeman Javert Who doesn't know that he is now a mayor And has adopted Cosette the little waif daughter of Fantine who dies in Act One And that's why Jean Valjean must run. Barricade Boy #2: Ah yes. Barricade Boy #1: Then he becomes involved in a French Revolution, But not the big famous one a little later one you thought you didn't know anything about Where Jean Valjean watches everyone get caught except for… Barricade Boy #2: Marius! Barricade Boy #1: Yes! Marius, who loves Cosette instead of Eponine Who joins the revolutionaries and runs up the barricade where she gets… Barricade Boy #2: Pregnant? Barricade Boy #1: Shot. After she sings a long ballad very much like Jean Valjean Who dies peacefully knowing that he has driven Javert to jump off a bridge And has significantly changed France by being an all-round nice guy and C'est Finis our story's done. How did you like that? Barricade Boy #2: *snores* Do You Hear the People Sing? Enjolras: Do you hear the people sing? Singing the hit songs from Les Mis It is the best show of a classic Since they modernised The Wiz Better learn the songs by heart And if you don't, they'll call you dumb They'll be atop the record chart When the British come No more Gershwin, no more Kern We don't need old shows anymore We set ablaze and burn most every Stephen Sondhiem score Come join with the few who have started a musical war Chorus: Do you hear the people sing? All of the new songs from Les Mis Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber Wished the songs were really his You'll be ticketed and pinched If a La Cage song you should hum Poor Jerry Herman will be lynched When the British come Do you hear the people sing? All of the new songs from Les Mis Now with our new French Revolution We'll decapitate The Wiz Now Les Mis is here to stay Miss Saigon will leave you numb Phantom will haunt the Great White Way When the British come The British come [Thanks to Carolyn Kahn for lyrics]
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