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At the End of the Play
Chorus:
At the end of the play we're another year older
And we're often exhausted from playing the poor
Randy Graff fell in the band
And the turntable's making us dizzy
Trevor Nunn yells a command
And it's throwing us all in a tizzy
And there's going to be hell to pay
At the end of the play
At the end of the play see the audience smolder
Sitting flat on their butts for three hours or more
They can't wait to get back home
And to read the libretto in bed
To decipher whatever went on
And what we said
Better read your synopsis
At the end of the play
I Dreamed a Show
Fantine:
There was a time when shows were fun
And they used bright lighting
And the shows weren't so long
And the songs weren't so biting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the scenery looked so pretty
I didn't sing one song then die
And all my costumes weren't so gritty
I did a tap-dance and I smiled
And pathos wasn't overstated
My lips were red, my hair was styled
I didn't act so constipated
But now that misery's in style
It's artistic if you suffer
So they tore my dress apart
And the chorus girls walk lame
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Neil Diamond didn't sing my hit song
A pretty girl they'd glorify
And Act One wasn't so damn long
Come watch us grovel in the dirt
Then buy a souvenir and don it
Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt
That has a starving pauper on it
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the sets weren't piles of rubble
I didn't have to belt high E
And be as miserable as me
Bring it Down
Jean Valjean:
God it's high
This song's too high
Pity me
Change the key
Bring it down
Bring it down
It's too high
It's too high
Much too high
Empty Songs, Empty Lyrics
Marius:
If I seem to be grief stricken
When this song goes on and on
Empty songs with empty lyrics
All about the dead and gone
Recitative
Barricade Boy #1:
Oh no Etienne, you're simply a confused and worried child.
Let me explain the plot of the show to you
So you can understand the way it's styled.
Jean Valjean is a convict who is being chased by the policeman Javert
Who doesn't know that he is now a mayor
And has adopted Cosette the little waif daughter of Fantine who dies in Act One
And that's why Jean Valjean must run.
Barricade Boy #2:
Ah yes.
Barricade Boy #1:
Then he becomes involved in a French Revolution,
But not the big famous one a little later one you thought you didn't know anything about
Where Jean Valjean watches everyone get caught except for…
Barricade Boy #2:
Marius!
Barricade Boy #1:
Yes! Marius, who loves Cosette instead of Eponine
Who joins the revolutionaries and runs up the barricade where she gets…
Barricade Boy #2:
Pregnant?
Barricade Boy #1:
Shot. After she sings a long ballad very much like Jean Valjean
Who dies peacefully knowing that he has driven Javert to jump off a bridge
And has significantly changed France by being an all-round nice guy and
C'est Finis our story's done.
How did you like that?
Barricade Boy #2:
*snores*
Do You Hear the People Sing?
Enjolras:
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the hit songs from Les Mis
It is the best show of a classic
Since they modernised The Wiz
Better learn the songs by heart
And if you don't, they'll call you dumb
They'll be atop the record chart
When the British come
No more Gershwin, no more Kern
We don't need old shows anymore
We set ablaze and burn most every Stephen Sondhiem score
Come join with the few who have started a musical war
Chorus:
Do you hear the people sing?
All of the new songs from Les Mis
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his
You'll be ticketed and pinched
If a La Cage song you should hum
Poor Jerry Herman will be lynched
When the British come
Do you hear the people sing?
All of the new songs from Les Mis
Now with our new French Revolution
We'll decapitate The Wiz
Now Les Mis is here to stay
Miss Saigon will leave you numb
Phantom will haunt the Great White Way
When the British come
The British come
[Thanks to Carolyn Kahn for lyrics]
| Forbidden Broadway, Vols. 1-4
lyrics list: |
Disc: 1 
Forbidden Broadway 
Non Plu Andral 
Don't Cry for Me, Argentina 
Annie's Favorite Showtune 
Pirates of Penzance Sequence 
Be a Catholic 
Triplets 
Bankable Stars 
I'm Entertainment 
Angela Lansbury Sequence/If the Show Had Run Past Labor Day 
Audition Sequence: Soliloquy from Carousel/I'm Sick of Playin [Excerpt] 
Merman & Martin Sequence: It's de-Lovely/My Heart Belongs to Daddy/Mu 
Carol Channing Sequence/Call on Carol/Dolly Is a Girl's Best Friend 
Ambition (Tradition)
Forbidden Broadway (Reprise) 
Disc: 2 
Opening and Who Do They Know? 
Forbidden Broadway, Vol. 2 
Fugue for Scalpers 
Patti Lupone/I Get a Kick Out of Me 
Into the Woods/Weekend in the Country 
Annie 2
Poor Butterfly 
Madonna's Brain 
Never, Never Panned
Somewhat Overindulgent 
Chita-Chita 
I Ham What I Ham
Hey, Bob Fosse
Almost Like Vegas in New York 
Teeny Todd 
Liza 
Ladies Who Screech 
Phantom of the Musical: Goldfinger/Lloyd Weber 
George M.! 
More Miserable Sequence
Finale 
Disc: 3 
Carol Channing Sequence: Imitation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery 
Forbidden Broadway Vol. III 
Trouble in New York City 
Guys and Dolls Sequence: Guys and Dolls/I Know I've Seen This Show ... 
If I Sing It Slower 
On the Ashkebad, Tbusi and Kiev Express 
I Could Have Danced All Night 
Grand Hotel/I Can't Learn This Song Quite So Quickly/Follies Bergere 
Someday 
Dear Antonio/The Sounds of Shakespeare 
Everything's Coming Up Merman/Old Fashioned Ballad/There's Nobody ... 
Tonight Who Will Play Miss Saigon?. You Are Hallmark, I Postcard 
Put on Your Phony Vocie/All I Ask of You 
Camelounge 
Mess of the Spider Woman: Prologue/Come and See Me/Mess of the ... 
Back to Broadway 
Tell Me It's Not True/I Think I'm Acting/Downshow 
Scenery, Fly Me, Amplify Me/Listening to Us 
Finale: What Happened to Heart? 
Disc: 4 
Parody Tonight: Oh What a Beautiful Moron/One Foot More (With One Look) 
Show Boat Medley: P.C. Show Boat/Make Believe/Ol' Show Show Boat 
My Souvenir Things 
Elaine Stritch 
Big 
Bernadette and Mandy in So Miscast (Wunderbar and So in Love) 
King Is Her/Whistle a Sondheim Tune/Shall We Boink? 
Be Depressed 
Patti Lupone in Master Class/As If I Never Said Goodbye/Andrew ... 
You're the One I Want/Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee/There Are Worse Things 
Meow! I Hope I Get It (God I Hope I Get It) 
You Just Can't Sing 
Ann Reinking in Chicago 
Kiss Me Kate/Corrective Casting/Jerry and Liza 
Julie Hot 
Spoonful of Julie 
Tony Nominating Committee: Victor/Ignor-Ee-Ya 
Crazy Girl 
Rant 
Ouch! They're Tight 
Too Gay for You-Too Het'ro for Me 
Pretty Voices Singing: Think Punk 
Season of Hype 
This Ain't Boheme/Death and Resurrection 
Finale: Something Wonderful 
Encore-Ta-Ta Folks 
Exit Music: Julie the Star! 
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