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Musical: Curtains
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Carmen (spoken): Jessica Cranshaw will never be better than she was this evening. Bobby: But she was horrible. Carmen: I know. But she’ll never better. She’s dead. That was the hospital on the phone. In terms of future performances, Jessica Cranshaw now has a conflict. Georgia: Chris, do you want to say something to the company about Jessica? Chris: Shall we all observe a moment of silence … to match the audience’s response to Jessica’s first number? Aaron: Chris! Chris: Oh, all right. Jessica was part of our company and now we part company. I’m sure we shall all remember her in our thoughts and in our resumes. And now as thespians, I know you’d like to express your sorrow, both as a tribute and as an acting exercise. Sasha—F Sharp minor. All (sung): Ooh, ooh, ooh Carmen: The woman’s dead The woman’s dead Aaron: Go tell her fans to change their plans The woman’s dead Nikki: Would someone care To say a prayer? Aaron: Who might that be? Chris: Don’t look at me Carmen, Aaron, and Chris: The woman’s dead All: Ooh, ooh, ooh The woman’s dead She’s dead and gone Bobby: She’s flown the coop And now our troupe is minus one Nikki: She sang each word The angels heard They closed her mouth and shipped her south Bobby and Nikki: The woman’s done All: Ooh, ooh, ooh The woman’s dead The woman’s dead Bambi: She was a bitch Chris: And under pitch Bambi: And now she’s dead All: Our star is dead Aaron: She had no voice Oscar: She had no wits Carmen: She had no brains She just had tits Aaron and Carmen: And now she’s dead All: The woman’s dead The woman’s dead Johnny: She’s taking ten ’Til God knows when The woman’s dead Men: The skies are blue Nikki: Her lips are too All: Can’t blow her nose Can’t shake her head See for yourself It’s like I said The woman’s definitely Positively … Cioffi (spoken): Excuse me, I’m Lt. Frank Cioffi of the greater Boston Police. I’m assigned to the homicide division and, oh, it’s an honor to be standing on the same stage with each and every one of you! All (sung): Dead! Dead! Dead!
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