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Musical: Caroline, or Change
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THE GELLMANS & MR. STOPNICK Chanukah or Chanukah, oh Dreydl and Menorah! We celebrate it even though it isn’t in the Torah! Talmud barely mentions it, the way they kept their candle lit; sages in their colloquies say bupkes bout the Maccabees and how with very little fuss they routed King Antiochus. Antiochus! Pooh! Who cares what all the sages say? We celebreate it anyway! Chanukah oh Chanukah, from Astrakhan to Panama, all along that isthmus, we’re celebrating Chanukah, especially in America! GRANDMA GELLMAN A whole week more than Christmas! ROSE You may think it’s December, but Noah, dear, remember, tonight is Kislev Twenty-Five! THE ADULT GELLMANS & MR. STOPNICK And every single Jew alive, Oy Noahleh, oy bubaleh, oy vontzeleh oy pishkeleh, sings happy happy Chanukah, especially in America! American American God shed His grace on thee, where every Jew’s a Maccabee and crown’d thy good with brotherhood… and bade our blessings multiply: NOAH Boruch ata adonai eloheinu melech ha’olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanoo l’hadlich ner shel Chanukah. THE ADULT GELLMANS & MR. STOPNICK Mi kamocha ba-eilim Adonai? Mi kamocha ne-e-dar ba-ko-desh? No-ra t’hilot o-se fe-le, No-ra t’hilot o-se fe-le. Omayn. CAROLINE Give that liver salad a toss and watch the goose don’t let it dry. Spoon them jars of applesauce and put them pancakes in the fry! If you don’t fry ‘em right away they start turning grey. NOAH Know why they’re fried in chicken fat? EMMIE To crisp ‘em up. CAROLINE Noah, scat! You’s bothering us, you’s underfoot. NOAH To symbolize the Temple Oil. CAROLINE Dot, don’t let the gravy boil! Noah, scoot, I got no use for you tonight. EMMIE How about the goose? Does that mean something? NOAH That’s just food. ROSE Noah, out! It’s very rude to bother people when they’re busy. You aren’t needed in here. Is he? CAROLINE No he ain’t. ROSE Go on, don’t pout. Go on out, and see our friends, he never listens! MR. STOPNICK The South is in a mighty frenzy! ROSE Time to bring the latkes out! Noah tell them food is coming. MR. STOPNICK Wait and see! The old world’s ending! Negroes marching! Change is coming! Down with the filthy capitalist chazzerim! ROSE Come and visit with Grandpa Stopnick, all the way from New York City! MR. STOPNICK Just like we predicted back in the 30s, all the negroes got to do now is stop this nonsense about nonviolence! GRANDMA & GRANDPA GELLMAN Scary scary such a tsimmes, negroes in Louisiana aren’t like in Mississippi, not as mad as Alabama. Anyway is this the way to talk on Erev Chanukah? Let’s not dwell on ugly things! Let’s thank God for the joys He brings! Watch the colored candles melt! Spin the dreydl for Chanukah Gelt! Let’s be merry, let’s be funny! GRANDMA GELLMAN Noah, look! GRANDPA GELLMAN It’s chocolate money! GRANDMA AND GRANDPA GELLMAN Let’s wish our negro neighbors well! MR. STOPNICK And may Bull Connor roast in hell! THE GELLMANS AND MR. STOPNICK Bull Connor! Pooh! GRANDMA & GRANDPA GELLMAN But tonight let’s just forget! GRANDMA GELLMAN Stuart! Play your clarinet! [Thanks to Michael for lyrics] Back to main page: Caroline, or Change Lyrics
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