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Musical: Caroline, or Change
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JACKIE It’s a quarter! JOE Mama ain’t got no money. Hey Mama! Where’d this money come from, you— EMMIE Leaver her be! Don’t get her going. JACKIE But it’s a— EMMIE If she wanted to tell she’d of told you. Know what happens to children who snoop? JOE What? EMMIE Once there was a boy who asked his mamma one too many questions and he died. He died. JOE Aw shut up. EMMIE He did! JACKIE For true? EMMIE For true. Once upon a time in a shack by the lake live a boy and his mama so broke they break. Ugliest child that you ever saw, name Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw! Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw! Didn’t have a penny. No he didn’t have any. So he asked his ma, Old Lady Coleslaw! “Ma, I’m broke and Ma I’m glum!” And Glory hallelujah to Kingdom Come! Ma reach in her pockets… EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE And she give him some! EMMIE “Look here Roosevelt, see here Ro! I got a penny!” JACKIE AND JOE “No, mama, no!” EMMIE “I got a nickel.” JACKIE AND JOE “Won’t buy a pickle! That’s no go, you way too slow!” EMMIE “I got a dime.” JACKIE AND JOE “Now that’s a crime!” EMMIE “How bout a quarter?” JACKIE AND JOE “Well that’s a starter…” EMMIE “I got two!” JACKIE AND JOE “Mama, I love you!” EMMIE “Got three quarters to be spent!” JACKIE AND JOE “Pretty mama Coleslaw! Seventy-five cent!” NOAH Caroline shows each silver quarter to her kids— she’s a divorcee! “Thank God we can eat now thanks to poor crazy Noah, who’s just a stoopnagle can’t hang on to a quarter!” But at least now at supper they talk about me. EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE Sweet old missus Coleslaw, she say Roosevelt Roosevelt have you a time, spend a little money at the five and dime! JACKIE AND JOE But Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw, he born dumb, he say Mama oh mama where this change come from? Mama oh mama where this change come from? EMMIE Mama went wild, “I earnt it child!” EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE Then she wacked him and she smacked him upside his head, but she hit too hard and the child dropped dead! JACKIE And he sprouted wings and he flew up to heaven, and heaven look like the 7-11! JOE And all the stars of heaven they was pennies and dimes: EMMIE Red hot! JACKIE Sweet tart! EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE Lemons and Limes! EMMIE Moon pie, food dye, tootsie pop JACKIE AND JOE Pop gun, squirt gun, sticky bun, silly putty, nutty-butter, sixty-four colors in the crayola pack pack pack! EMMIE Bird call, slap paddle, tinkywinks, skip rope, licorice, pickup sticks JACKIE AND JOE Magic tricks, lego bricks, pirate hooks, and comic books! JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH Comic books! JACKIE Superman JOE Batman JACKIE Aquaman JOE and Ironman JACKIE AND JOE Spiderman, X-Men, Daredevil, Doctor Strange and EMMIE Wonder Woman! Diana! EMMIE AND NOAH Princess of the Amazons! Magical lariat, golden tiara, bulletproof bracelets, lipstick and mascara! JOE Stronger than anyone, six times as pretty; an eagle brassiere with a wing on each titty! EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH Wing on each titty! Wing on each titty! Titty titty titty titty titty titty titty titty! NOAH They talk about how my mama died they talk about my tragedy they wish that they could take me in and I could live with Caroline and Emmie Jackie Larry Joe, Emmie Jackie Larry Joe. Each evening I could up and go home to be a Thibodeaux. Emmie Jackie Larry Joe and Noah Noah Thibodeaux. EMMIE JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH Oh, she did it, she did it, she kill her kid! Oh mama, oh mama, see what you did! R.I.P.! EMMIE She found him dead, his mean old ma, she screamed “Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw! Oh my child, my darling son, your time on earth is gone and done, and you are lost and gone before!” JACKIE But Roosevelt, an angel now, he bought out the store, and he still got nickels and dimes galore! His mama cry, “He’s gone too soon!” But Roosevelt is sitting longside of the moon, and he says “Miss Moon, will you be my Mrs.?” MOON I might, you sweet, but you gotta be rich! JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH “I’m rich, I’m rich, will you give me kisses?” MOON I will sweet pea, indeed I shall, I’ll be your love little looney gal! Cause you are sweet and you are rich! JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH So they went up to God and they got hitch! MOON And I will wax and I will wane, I’ll turn your brain into green moon cheese, I’ll do every first thing that I please, I’ll be your honey and I”ll spend all your money but I’ll shines o bright I’ll be your delight, and I’ll grow full and I’ll grow fat and you’ll say to yourself: JACKIE, JOE AND NOAH “Now how about that?!” “How about that?!” MOON And that’s the last… EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON …that anyone saw of Roosevelt Petrucious Coleslaw! He flap his wings and he flew away, and said goodbye to heaven and to JFK, and he’s flying through space to this very day, counting all the stars in the Milky Way. He counts so high he’s a millionaire, and he doesn’t have a care. CAROLINE And now every morning, day after day, there’s change in his pockets. Quarters, pennies— He’s leavin’ them there. And I am mean, and I am tough, but thirty dollars ain’t enough… thirty dollars… thirty dollars… EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON (with Caroline above) Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga! Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga! Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga! Ching! Ching! Ching! Chingalinga! A penny, for Rosie and off he go! A nickel, a quarter, he got some dough! He rise in the skies and look down below, and say… ..I’m a gonna buy me The Sky! Didn’t have a penny yeah but now I got plenty so I say goodbye— No mama don’t cry! If I’m broke! CAROLINE Ain’t right! EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON If I’m glum! CAROLINE Ain’t decent! EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON Glory hallelujah to Kingdom Come! CAROLINE Change in his pockets just lyin there! EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON I reach in my pockets…. CAROLINE I reach in his pockets… EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON, CAROLINE And I find me some! CAROLINE For free… EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, MOON I’m free as the air… CAROLINE As the air! [Thanks to Michael for lyrics] Back to main page: Caroline, or Change Lyrics
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