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Musical: Caroline, or Change
Song: Long Distance
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ROSE
Hello pa!
It’s long distance, it’s your brand new southern daughter,
it’s Rose!
Oh everything’s fine here,
I suppose.
How’s the Hudson River?
I’m fine, just fine, I’m learning the lingo:
magnolia, camellia, azalea, ya’ll.
The temple—get this—has Sunday night bingo—
just like the goyim.
Oy.
A long distance call!
So much to tell. The boy still hates me.
(I really shouldn’t be talking so loud).
He leaves money in his pockets,
and that really grates me,
I tell him and tell him it’s not allowed,
just shucking your laundry—
you hear that? “Shuck!”
I’m a southerner already—on to the floor;
take the money out first,
God know we’re not poor,
but show respect for your father.
He worked hard for that buck—
well, no, not a whole buck, he’s a boy,
but loose change. Quarters. Those add up.
The negro maid, she’s making bupkes,
how does that look, leaving change in his pockets?
Indifferent to money,
the kid’s a little funny,
spoiled and quiet – sad, I guess.
I’m on a diet. I bought a new dress.
Stu’s giving lessons, playing, doing fine:
the work is steady.
he still misses Betty.
I don’t mind.
I miss her too.
She was my best friend.
I miss the city.
I miss the old crowd. What?
Because we haven’t got—
We can’t give her a raise!
Pa!
Pa!
We aren’t rich, we’re just plain folk,
we’ve only got bupkes ourselves—
we’re broke.
Typical, you obsess about the maid
while your daughter’s miserable.
No, not miserable I never said—
Well, it’s not what I meant.
I’m just not…
Just not…
A hundred percent.
It’s very hot, and very damp,
and out in the back yard there’s a little swamp.
Full of noisy frogs. Last night I cried.
I miss you, pa.
I miss the Upper West Side.
[Thanks to Michael for lyrics]
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