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Musical: Candide
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CHORUS Bon voyage, dear fellow, Dear benefactor of your fellow man! May good luck attend you. Do come again and see us when you can. VANDERDENDUR Oh, but I'm bad. Oh, but I'm bad, Playing such a very dirty trick on such a fine lad! I'm a low cad, I'm a low cad, Always when I do this sort of thing it makes me so sad, Ever so sad! Oh, but I'm bad! Ever so bad! Bon voyage! CHORUS Bon voyage! Bon voyage, we'll see ya. Do have a jolly trip across the foam! Santa Rosalia, Do have a safe and pleasant journey home. Bon voyage, bon voyage. VANDERDENDUR I'm so rich that my life is an utter bore; There is just not a thing that I need. My desires are as dry as an applecore, And my only emotion is greed. Which is why, though I've nothing to spend it for, I have swindled this gold from Candide, Poor Candide! But I never would swindle the humble poor, For you can't get a turnip to bleed. When you swindle the rich you get so much more, Which is why I have swindled Candide. Oh dear, I fear He's going down, he's going to drown! Ah, poor Candide! CHORUS Bon voyage, dear stranger, Hope that the crossing will not prove too grim. You seem to be in danger, But we expect that you know how to swim. VANDERDENDUR What a dumb goat, what a dumb goat, Handing me a fortune for a perfect wreck of a boat. Never did float, never did float. This is going to make a most amusing anecdote. Never did float, wreck of a boat. What a dumb goat! ALL Bon voyage! Bon voyage, best wishes! Seems to have been a bit of sabotage Things don't look propitious, Still from the heart we wish you Bon voyage, dear fellow, bon voyage!! The ship sinks. Martin is drowned. So, subsequently is Vanderdendur. Reunited with his golden sheep in mid-ocean, Candide boards a raft and meets five deposed kings. The raft is rowed by a pathetic galley slave: it is Pangloss, again miraculously restored to life. The kings have learned their lesson: if they ever reach land they will live humbly, serving God and Man. Pangloss chairs their debate, following the proper parliamentary procedures.
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