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Musical: Battery's Down, The
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CORTNEY Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? It's so like, your life that you're screwing. Oh no, get back on the track Jack. Your desktop is Sweeney Todd. This comforter's Cabaret. It looks like Leo Bloom threw up in your room, See, Jake, what I'm trying to say: RYAN Dude, you're gay! CORTNEY No! Your ringtone is Piazza. RYAN These curtains are Wicked green. CORTNEY And I don't now what tis is, but it's something Les Miz. RYAN And here's you last Halloween... DANI So Jake, Jake, Jake you gotta take a good look at yourself CORTNEY Take a good look DANI & CORTNEY 'Cause Jake, Jake, Jake RYAN You got a Annie Oakley action figure on your shelf. CORTNEY This is your life. Yeah, it's cliche. But it's all you talk about all damn day. So don't you go now and throw it all away. This is your life, you're gonna be okay. BENJ, DANI, RYAN Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? ADAM, JUSTIN, NINA (Overlapping) No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure! No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure! NINA You get faint for J.R.B. DANI Michael John makes you slightly hard. NINA And if some night you're jerking, and not a porno is working, you got the last two Tony's DVR'd. BENJ Mary Testa kinda makes you hot. JUSTIN Barbara Cook makes you twitch and sweat. BENJ & JUSTIN And you know that we know you slept with Donna Vivino simply 'cause she was the first Young Cosette. DANI And Jake, Jake, Jake When Laura Bell's last note was blown NINA "Than before!" CORTNEY, DANI, NINA You, Jake, Jake, Jake You know you YouTube posted everyone leave Laura alone! JAKE Leave Laura alone! CORTNEY, DANI, JUSTIN, RYAN This is your life - Yea, it's cliche. But it's all you talk about all damn day. ADAM, BENJ, NINA (Overlapping) Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? It's so like, your life that you're screwing. Oh no, get back on the track Jack. ALL BUT JAKE So don't you go now and throw it all away. This is your life. CORTNEY You're gonna be... MISCELLANEOUS To us! Free chips at Blockhead's! Joe Iconis! Kevin! Jeffrey! Laurie Beechman! Don't Tell Mama's B.D. Wong! Eating at Angus! And to Michigan! On Our Own! The Keenan-Bolgers! Drinks at Vintage! Steve Oremus! Lauren Molina playin' Cello! Winning Wicked lotto tickets! To being gay! Dance belts! Splash! Lippa's Wild Party! Cheyenne Jackson! Bare! Mama Rose! To NYMTF! Kate Shindle winning Miss America! Marci, Zina, Taylor! Ahrens! Flaherty! And of course to crying when TiMoune becomes a tree. JAKE Oh, TiMoune... She followed her dream... Even when it seemed it wasn't hers to obtain. She didn't quit or complain. No! she reached for it. Didn't ignore it. What am I doing, sitting here stewing? Maybe my friends are right... That I need to fight... Others And so I'll fight. Ahh... Starting tonight, starting tonight! MISCELLANEOUS To Bat Boy! Kerry Butler! Law And Order! Adam Guettel! Michael John! Jeanine Tesori! Duncan Sheik! Sing Out Louise! To Walmartopia! Jane Krakowski! Julie Taymor Puppets! In The Heights! To Cheyenne!...We said that! ADAM To Larry O'Key-change? ALL BUT JAKE And to Jake! To Jake! To Jake! JAKE This i my life! Yea, it's cliche. But it's all I think about all damn day. So I can't go now and throw it all away... OTHERS (Overlapping) All damn day. Don't throw it all away... ALL All away... All away... JAKE This is my... Group A ...Life! Yea, it's cliche. But it's all you talk about all damn day. So don't you go now and throw it all away. Group B Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? It's so like, your life that you're screwing. Oh no, get back on the track Jack. Don't throw it all away. All This is your life JAKE I'm gonna be okay! BENJ, DANI, RYAN Hello? What the F are you doing? Like woah. What is going on man? Hello? What the F are you doing? ADAM, JUSTIN, NINA (Overlapping) No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh Grr. K, sure. Don't be Mister Insecure! No. Like, woah. Wha wha wha uuuuuh ALL Like woah. This is your life! [Thanks to Cuck for lyrics]
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