Three Bedroom House Lyrics > Bat Boy

MEREDITH: Out! Out! Out! Time to get out!
SHELLEY: Out?
MEREDITH: Out! Gotta just rip out this page,
bend the bars of this cage and run free!
SHELLEY: Free?
MEREDITH: Free! No one but Edgar, you and me!
Gotta go find him and move on-
BOTH: And be gone before the dawn!

MEREDITH: Gotta get checkbooks,
SHELLEY: Checkbooks,
MEREDITH: Car keys,
SHELLEY: Car keys,
MEREDITH: Passports,
SHELLEY: Passports,
MEREDITH: Then goodbye!
SHELLEY: Toothbrush,
MEREDITH: Toothbrush,
SHELLEY: Blankets,
MEREDITH: Blankets,
SHELLEY: Daddy?
MEREDITH: No.
SHELLEY: Why?

MEREDITH: Shelley, listen to me.
What do you do when you blow out a tire?
SHELLEY: Tire?
MEREDITH: Trash it! Some holes you'll never patch.
SHELLEY: You'll never patch?
MEREDITH: And who do you save when your house is on fire?
SHELLEY: Fire?
MEREDITH: Don't bring the guy who lit the match!
SHELLEY: Who lit the match!

MEREDITH: So we'll get a post office box,
And we're gonna change all the locks,
And we're gonna stay with my cousins a while.
Then we'll get a three bedroom house
with a white picket fence and a gun and a lawyer,
so smile!

Gonna get a homeowner's loan;
SHELLEY: Could...
MEREDITH: Gonna get an unlisted phone;
SHELLEY: Good!
MEREDITH: Gonna get away from this town gone insane!
SHELLEY: Kinda thought they would...
MEREDITH: Then we'll get a three bedroom house
SHELLEY: A beautiful three bedroom house
MEREDITH: Affordable
BOTH: Three bedroom house
MEREDITH: With a great big pit bull on a chain!

SHELLEY: Okay... Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay
Right! Right! Right! Mother, you're right!
MEREDITH: Right?
SHELLEY: Right! Still kinda sad that my dad lost what marbles he had
but we're free!
MEREDITH: Free!
SHELLEY: Free! I'll get a brand new fake I.D!
MEREDITH: And if we lack for anything I can hock this stupid ring!

BOTH: And we'll get a post office box
And we'll get a front gate that locks!
SHELLEY: And we'll get away from those ignorant pigs!
BOTH: And we'll get a three bedroom house!
MEREDITH: A livable three bedroom house
SHELLEY: A lovable
BOTH: Three bedroom house
MEREDITH: And some plastic surgery and wigs!
SHELLEY: For who?
MEREDITH: For all of us...
SHELLEY: Right...

BOTH: And Edgar will soon have
SHELLEY: A garden to walk in
MEREDITH: His own driver's license
SHELLEY: A car- NO! A van!
BOTH: And Edgar will soon have
SHELLEY: A ballroom to dance in
MEREDITH: A good dental plan!

SHELLEY: Cause Edgar will soon have a home...
MEREDITH: Yes, Edgar will soon have a home...
BOTH: A heck of a home!
And we'll get a post office box
And we'll get a front gate that locks
MEREDITH: And big electrified fence all around!
SHELLEY: Whoa!

MEREDITH: And we'll get a three bedroom house-
SHELLEY: Or even a two bedroom house-
MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house-
SHELLEY: Mom... do you think Edgar would marry me?

(Pause)

MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house,
A three bedroom house
In a concrete shelter ten feet underground!

SHELLEY: Mom! I want to marry Edgar! I'm in love with him!
MEREDITH: No, Shelley.
SHELLEY: What?
MEREDITH: You're not in love with Edgar!
SHELLEY: Yes, I am, Mom. I love him so much. And I want to be with him forever-
MEREDITH: No, Shelley! It's hideous! It's not right!
SHELLEY: You're just like the rest of them!
MEREDITH: You don't understand- Shelley! NO!

What about the three bedroom house?
The three bedroom house!
Who do you save when your house is on fire...
Your House Is On Fire...
Your House Is On Fire!
Last Update: June, 10th 2013