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Musical: Bat Boy
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SHERIFF: Evening folks! SHELLEY: Whatcha got? SHERIFF: Doctor home? MEREDITH: No, he's not. SHERIFF: Wen's he back? MEREDITH: An hour or so. SHELLEY: The heck is that? SHERIFF: Well, I don't know. MEREDITH: What in the world? SHELLEY: Where did you find? MEREDITH: What is he doing? SHELLEY: He's out of his mind! MEREDITH: Is he in pain? SHELLEY: Is he insane? SHERIFF: Maybe and possibly, let me explain. (Sheriff knocks Bat Boy down with his pistol.) MEREDITH AND SHELLEY: No! SHERIFF: Aw, heck. Maybe I shouldn'tve done that. But that boy was hoppin' like a scalded dog. MEREDITH: Boy? SHERIFF: Maybe. Frankly, that's why I'm here. I figure maybe we need a veterinarian to sort this out. I'm hoping Dr.Parker will know what to do. I didn't know where else to take him... SHELLEY: Mom! MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet! SHERIFF: Can't go to jail, he's underage. SHELLEY: Mom! MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet! SHERIFF: Folks up at the Med School, bet they'd carve him up or bake him. I'd send the FBI a page, but I don't think we're at that stage- So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creepin' on all fours. We could always shoot him but that don't seem right to me. 'N I can't rid myself o' my Christian Charity. SHELLEY: Can we see him? MEREDITH: Shelley- get away! SHERIFF: You listen to your mother, Shelley. You don't want to be near if it wakes up. It bit one of the Taylor kids. MEREDITH: Shelley, don't stare- Shelley, don't poke. What is this, sheriff, some kind of sick joke? SHELLEY: Mom, he's so gross! Mom, can he stay? SHERIFF: Shel, I was hopin' you'd see it that way. I'm comin' up for re-election. SHELLEY: Mom! MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet! SHERIFF: I gotta bring this thing to heel. SHELLEY: Mom! MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet! SHERIFF: A boy with his complextion's gonna meet with some objections, 'N I think I know how folks will feel once they hear this "Bat Child" is for real. SHELLEY: It's a bat child? MOM! We gotta keep it! MEREDITH: All right, sheriff. Dr. Parker has some cages. I'll take care of the boy for you. SHERIFF: Ah, that's great, Meredith. I can't thank you enough for the favor. And if he turns into a pain, call me, I've got stun guns and a chain. SHELLEY: WHOA! MEREDITH: OH! SHERIFF: (overlapping) So here he is folks, he's all yours. I couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. We may have to put him down- MEREDITH: (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley- please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke. SHELLEY: (overlapping) Mom! Look at him! I know but Mom... Look at him! What's wrong with him? ALL: For now we'll wait and see! SHERIFF AND MEREDITH: We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. SHERIFF: (overlapping) So, here he is folks, he's all yours. Couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours. Those thunderclouds are closing in- MEREDITH: (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley, please don't poke. Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke! SHELLEY: (overlapping) MOOOOOOOOOOMMM! MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! ALL: We can't just let him be. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity. SHELLEY: Mom! MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
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