Plain Jane Fat Ass lyrics
Plain Jane Fat Ass
NADIA
Oh I know a girl full of confidence.
Yes, whenever she's full, she's a confident girl.
She'll have your piece of pie-
Then inhale another ten
There's a thin girl inside her with twelve of her friends.
Hips that could bear you a buffalo
JASON
Longhorn?
NADIA
Ass thats so vast I could block out the sun
JASON
You know that you're insane
NADIA
I'm a caution for the vain.
Mothers say 'Well, dear there's fat, then there's Jane.'
Plain Jane fat ass
Guilty of swallowing Jenny Craig whole
Plane Jane fat ass
Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role.
JASON
Why are you so hard on yourself?
NADIA
Why are you such an over achiever?
(Simultaneously)
NADIA: Mom...
JASON: Dad...
JASON
Nadia, it's just that I know you'd be happier-
NADIA
Okay, kiddo- I didn't spend thousand of dollars on private golf lessons
so you could quit the team sophomore year.
JASON
It's mind over matter-
NADIA
If you keep your mind focused-
JASON
We just want you to be happy...
NADIA
To make us happy...
But why can't the fat girl play Juliet?
It's the plumpest of roles, so then why not pick me?
JASON
It's just a stupid show
NADIA
Says the dahsing Romeo
Well, I've played a servant for years in a row.
But I'll have the last laugh- you bet your ass.
Hurt me? You can't- I have mounds of thick skin.
Beating high school doesn't last, and someday, I have a hunch
That I'll eat them for breakfast and shit them for lunch.
Plain Jane fat ass
Hungry for love, she's a sesitive soul
Plain Jane fat ass
Keeping society so ill at ease and loving her role.
NADIA (spoken):
Dad's birthday package arrived...
Two weeks late as usual.
Here's your birthday cheque - financial proof that dad loves ya
And oh, surprise! A note!
(Sung) 'Dear Jason,
Please find enclosed: this very thick package that came for you yesterday
I talked to Father Flynn and he told me you were in,
But call anyway when you open it.'
Notre Dame!
'We always knew that you'd keep the McConnell flame burning
Love Dad'
(Spoken)
JASON: Hey, what did Dad get you?
NADIA: You mean what did dad's secretary get me?
JASON: Huh..
NADIA: These earrings - I think they're slimming. What do you think?
JASON: Come here.
Last Update: May, 20th 2015