Jailcraft lyrics
Jailcraft
JIM
You won’t learn this art in a book
There’s no fast track to it
SYLVIA
You can’t skip the years that it took
There’s a real knack to it
JIM
Jailcraft
We’ve got it
SYLVIA
Jailcraft
You’ve got it
JIM / SYLVIA
Jailcraft
That’s what it takes
SYLVIA
You won’t get this with a degree
In criminal justice
JIM
Down the sharp end, take it from me
The one thing you trust is
JIM / SYLVIA
Jailcraft
We’ve got it
Hard graft
But we’ve got it
Jailcraft
That’s what it takes
JIM
It’s basic common sense
SYLVIA
Plus a little self-defense
JIM
Mix with professional calm
SYLVIA
Add a dash of personal charm
JIM / SYLVIA
And when that old proverbial
Finally hits the fan
We’re up front
Bearing the brunt
Just doing the best we can
We don’t get the thanks we deserve
Down at the coalface
While those wimps are losing their nerve
We run the whole place
Jailcraft
JIM
Irrefutable
JIM / SYLVIA
Jailcraft
SYLVIA
God we’re beautiful
JIM / SYLVIA
Jailcraft
That’s what it takes
JIM
And if the powers that be
Are just too blind to see
I know a thing or two
I’ll pull a string or two
Take a lesson from me
NUMBER ONE
So Jim, off the record, how’s the new girl Governor doing on G Wing’
JIM (aside)
Worried look, furrowed brow
A slight’ hesitation’
NUMBER ONE
If you have concerns’
JIM (to NUMBER ONE)
I wouldn’t like to interfere
NUMBER ONE
Any information is in the strictest confidence
JIM
It’s all in here’
(JIM hands over a notebook)
Years of experience
You understand’
NUMBER ONE
Leave it with me, Jim. Enough said.
JIM
Years of perfecting
A shake of the hand
NUMBER ONE
See you at the Lodge meeting’
JIM
My but it’s good taking control
Sliding up that greasy pole
JIM / SYLVIA
And you won’t get that out a book
On prison procedure
When those suits get caught on the hook
That’s when they need ya
Jailcraft
We’ve got it
He’s daft
But we’ve got it
Jailcraft
That’s what it takes
When you’re short-staffed
Your back nearly breaks
We get well shafted
But we struggle through
Keep your eye on the ball
Your ear to the ground
Back to the wall
When trouble’s around
It’s Jailcraft
JIM
Jailcraft
SYLVIA
Jailcraft
JIM / SYLVIA
That’s what we do
Me and you!
Last Update: June, 13th 2014